Glenn’s Blog Thing

That seems to be the time between really GREAT horror movies from Hollywood. In 2007 we got “28 Weeks Later”.  Before that in 2006 we were blessed with the OUTSTANDING film called “The Descent.” Alot of people don’t even know about that one. It only made 26 million at the box office and it is one of the best horror movies I have ever seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5I1q4KhKNU

This Friday I believe we  fans of scary movies are getting a bolt of lightning in “Drag Me To Hell.” It is directed by Sam Raimi. He is the guy that made the “Evil Dead” films and he also directed all three Spiderman movies.

Yeah….I know…..Spiderman 3 SUCKED! But even Steven Spielberg made “1941.”

Half of the reviews are in for “DMTH” and 95% of critics across the country are giving it a huge thumbs up.

Examples:

“I never thought I’d say this. Never. But I have officially forgotten SPIDERMAN 3. I want to hug Sam Raimi. I want to hug him like I did back in the days of EVIL DEAD…Let’s just say that pissing off a gypsy is NOT a good idea… ”

“There’s goo, gore and guffaws galore in this outrageous celebration of everything you used to love about both Sam Raimi and the horror genre itself. ”

“Revealing Raimi in top form as a maestro of the genre that launched his career, this film is an extremely satisfying small-scale supernatural horror, relying more heavily on characterization, acting, tone and mood than on special effects per se.”

I know “Up” is opening this weekend and is is also getting great reviews. Even I want to see it. But you can’t go more than 2 weeks without a computer animated film opening up!!!!.

It’s almost a law in this country that you have to take your kids to every fricking one of those types of films. But if you enjoy the horror film genre and have small kids you should at least think about seeing “DMTH” this weekend!

Call the baby sitter, the Nanny, the Manny, the Granny  or whatever you gotta do.

Just a word of warning…..beware the midnight shows! Every damn time I see a horror movie at midnight the audience shouts directions to the characters on the screen.

As always, I will have a review for you on Monday.

Because of the reviews from real critics, I went into Terminator: Salvation with lowered expectations….and I was still dissapointed. It’s not a bad movie, it is just not that good either.

The Good:
1-The director McG does a good job. The pace of the film rarely slows down and the action scenes are, for the most part, enthralling.
2-The special effects are FIRST RATE and in certain sequences absolutely jaw dropping.
3-There are some very good side characters including Micheal Ironside as a general and a great female butt kicker that comes in halfway through the movie.
4-There is also a fantastic computer animated Schwarzenneger terminator that looks like the REAL Arnold from 20 years ago.

The Bad:
1-Even though I am a huge fan of the Terminator franchise I was a tad bit confused at some of the plot holes.
(Because my reviews are spoiler free I won’t go into them.)
2-For the very first time, I also felt Chritian Bale did not do a good job but it is not all his fault. For most of the film he is doing his dumb Batman manly hoarse whisper voice. The rest of the time he is just yelling.
3-The film should have revolved around the John Connor character but instead puts the emphasis on a good terminator dude. For most of the movie I was asking myself “Who the FRACK is this guy?!”
4-Even though I listed the action scenes as a “Good” thing some scenes are directly lifted from other films. C’MON!

Final Verdict:
To me the first two terminator movies were Sci -Fi at it’s best. The third film, while flawed, still had enough character, story and action for me to give it three stars.  Terminator Salvation is just another big, loud summer action movie with no soul.
If you are a fan of the movies it’s definately watchable. In a few spots it is even VERY good. But unless you are the most forgiving fanboy with blinders on, overall it is a dissapointment.
I give it 2 and a half stars out of four. Christian Bale should not have yelled at the lighting guy. He should have saved his anger for the writers.

NOTE: On tommorows show we take a sneak peak at a horror movie opening Friday called “Drag Me To Hell”. Prepare to be surprised!

While many people will be partying this Memorial Day weekend PLEASE DON’T FORGET this is a day to remember the men and woman who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Maybe go to a parade or watch a movie like “Saving Private Ryan” or better yet watch “Band Of Brothers”…

On Wednesday, I had the unique experiance of getting a private tour of the Riverhead Jail. A few friends of the morning show who are corrections officers took us on a private tour. There are tours for the public and I cannot stress to you enough when I say this:

YOU MUST EXPERIANCE THIS!

There is a whole other world behind bars that almost no one in America knows about.

I don’t care if you have seen all of the prison documentaries in the world or seen every episode of “Oz”, nothing will prepare you for this. Not only do I feel truly blessed for seeing the job these brave men and woman do, there is no greater motivation for not commiting a crime.

No. it’s not “Scared Straight.” I wasn’t scared at all. I was fascinated. It was better than any movie I have ever seen in my life (and you know what a movie buff I am). It literally was a life changing experiance. Part of my time this weekend will be emailing a few politicians about prison overcrowding and many other things I saw.

And let me tell you one last thing about this…..I have never driven my car drunk -but if I did -I would never, EVER do it again after what I saw yesterday! I never want to be on the “other side” of those jailhouse bars…..

The one story out of Hollywood that blew me away this week was Jessica Biel.  (Justin Timberlakes live in girlfriend and the woman on every top ten “Most Beautiful Woman in the World” list)

On Tuesday, she claimed she is a victim of “Beauty Discrimination.” She says she does not get the prime movie roles woman like Scarlett Johanson and Natalie Portman get because she is too pretty. Are you FRACKING kidding me?! You are very pretty Ms. Beil but apparently you are just a beautifully packaged turd. And BTW, I think those two woman are way hotter than you……

We had my friends Mick Thomas and Tim Gage (comedians, writers, semi-tv stars) on the show today. They both will be at Govenors tonight and they are two of the funniest people I have ever met……

When Dave and I come back on Tuesday morning I will have my review of Terminator:Salvation. I have drastically lowered my expectations for this movie because some of the reviews are vicious.

“Filled with more explosions per minute than a Michael Bay movie, nearly all of them gratuitous and none of them exciting.”

“The acting is atrocious. It’s just a bunch of people yelling at different volumes.”.

…..That lst aone sounds like any holiday dinner with my wifes side of the family…..

Dave and I taped a talk show yesterday out in Wainscott. We were guests on “The Comedy Den” hosted by my good friend Mick Thomas. What a fricking difference from being on the radio!

In radio you have to follow a strict time schedual, but not with television (or the Long Island Railroad.)

Oh, sure…..if you have a LIVE tv show the clock must be followed religously- but we were taping.

Mick told us to be there at 4:30pm for a sound check and the show would begin taping at 5pm.

The soundcheck did not even happen until 6:30 and (after sitting around with my thumb up my a** ) by the time the cameras were rolling at seven I was in full diva mode.

On the radio, you can roll out of bed, go to work and crack open the microphone. Nobody knows or cares. On television you have to be leary of everything you are wearing and how you look. Because yesterday was the first time I have been on television in years, I dressed nicely but missed something.

Before the show, one of the producers (a lovely lady whose name I do not remember) pointed to the sleeve of my black shirt and said “That might show up on the camera shot.”

I looked down and saw a white, filmy stain and gasped, “Oh God! Let me go to the bathroom and get rid of that!”

To which Mick Thomas replied, “That’s just where you got the stain.”

When sitting in front of the cameras before the show, there are HUGE rectangular lights bathing you in a white glow. (If you ever saw the light a doctor hangs an X Ray on –times that by 100!)

As they are doing the soundcheck the tv cameras are testing closeups too. In hanging projection televisions I saw my face lit up by the bright lights and for the briefest moment thought I was watching the movie “Dawn of the Dead”!

“Is that me?” I thought, “HOLY SH** I need some makeup!”

I literally looked around for a makeup girl for some powder or blush or a touchup. Than I realized I was in WAINSCOTT and I should just be happy that it was a real tv station ….and it wasn’t some old guy named “Gummy Joe” holding a camcorder.

After all of the aggravation before the show started I thought it went well. We talked honestly about the radio business-perhaps a bit too honestly- but it was fun.

We don’t know when the show will air yet. It is suppossed to be on in 2 to 3 weeks. I’ll let you know.

Dave and I will be guests on a television show this afternoon. As I have previously told you, it’s called “The Comedy Den” and airs on Cablevisions channel 20. They have moved the date the show airs but I will have that information (and more) as soon as I find out. The only thing I can tell you now is we are TAPING the show today and it will air in 2 to 3 weeks.

The Comedy Den is a roundtable discussion of current events with comedians. It’s a bit awkward because I don’t view myself as a “comic”. If someone asks me what I do, I just tell them I am “a jerk with a microphone.”

I have been on tv plenty of times so I am not nervous. I was on tv when I almost got the job as the New York Lotto guy. I was on tv at the All Star Cafe when I worked there as a “VJ” and interviewed people like Shaquille ONeil, Ken Giffey Jr. Wayne Gretzky and others.

The only thing that makes me a little nervous is the language I might use on the tv show. The host (and my friend) Mick Thomas says “Don’t worry about it. We have an editor that can use the bleep button.”

The only problem is…. outside of the radio studio I use the “EFF” bomb as a verb, noun and adjective.

A new study shows that a huge majority of Americans don’t believe money can buy happiness.

That’s crazy!!!

I hate using cliches but this time at least one is approppriate. If you don’t think a huge bank account buys happiness YOU DONT KNOW WHERE TO SHOP.When I brought that up on the air we were inundated with callers saying things like

“What if you got sick and your privates fell off?” and “Money won’t find you true love” and blah, blah,blah.

I don’t have a concrete answer about your manhood dissapearing like loose change in your pockets, but for finding love… what better way to do that than have lots of cash?

We all make mistakes in our love life. I say it’s easier when you are rich because you can just PAY TO MAKE THAT MISTAKE GO AWAY!

Paul McCartney has a little less than one BILLION dollars in the bank. Do you think he regrets the 42 million he paid to get rid of that psycho Heather Mills?

NO!

And look at him now. The ink was not even dry on the divorce papers and he already has hooked up with the smart and beautiful Nancy Shevell form Long Island.

Jerry Seinfeld has so many cars he had to build a parking garage. David Letterman gets 10 weeks of vacation a year and still makes 30 million annually. George W Bush comes from a rich family and got to make his own schedual with the National Guard, run an oil company into bankruptcy and then sell it for a profit, co-own the Texas Rangers, and lease out the presidency of the United States to Dick Cheney!

And speaking of Cheney, he is so rich he shot a senior citizen in the face and the guy APOLOGIZED to Cheney!

And even if you have enough money to last several lifetimes and still find yourself unhappy you could just buy some Paxil…..

Don’t do drugs kids!

Next weekend we are doing a “Behind the Classics” weekend on RCN and it’s actually really kind of cool. Everyone has thier favorite songs we play here at the station and, of course, there are songs that you have heard so many times just the opening chords will induce vomiting.

I’m looking at you Piano Man!

I am helping put together some of these artists clips talking about the story behind the songs and I found it UTTERLY fascinating.

I always thought Van Halens “Jump” was a good song but I was kind of sick of it. But I wanted to hear the song again after I heard David Lee Roth talking about it!

Before he became a star, he was watching the news in his studio apartment and “some guy” was on a ledge of a building threatening to kill himself. Roth says some people down below the man were yelling “Don’t do it!” and Diamond Dave says he was inspired to write the song by the one guy who was yelling “JUMP!”

There are many more cool stories that you can hear if you tune in next weekend, but I’ll leave you with this one. I NEVER liked “Summer of 69″ by Brian Adams. If I listen to that song for more than 30 seconds it gives me violent diarrhea.

But after hearing Adam’s story of what the song is about—-I actually turned the song on inside the studio to listen to it!

Lets put it this way….

It’s not about finding love in the summer. Yes…. he does find SOMETHING. And it’s not about the YEAR 1969 either.

My wife and I are shopping for a new car for her. The car she drives now is what you call a “Train Station” car. She commutes into Penn Station for work every day and the only time the car is used is to go back and forth from Lake Grove to Ronkonkoma. But her car has become such an eyesore and has so many inconvient, annoying little things wrong with it she needs a new one.

Now when I say “We” are shopping for a car that is not entirely accurate. SHE is looking at cars on the “internets” and when she sees one -asks for my opinion.

She looked at the Mini Cooper. I told her IMO it’s “a glorified skateboard” with a terrible safety rating.

She asked me about the Scion.

I replied, “Ew! You mean that ugly, boxy thing?” We have an Element and if both cars were parked in our driveway it would like our Element gave birth to an ugly baby.

My wife worries about global warming and the future of the planet so I suggested a hybrid. She told me they are too expensive. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Al Gore!

I came to realize there was one common theme in her car shopping…..

she is not looking at enough AMERICAN cars!

I told her Ford, GM ect. are bending over backwards to sell thier vehicles. I told her with these federal bailouts you could get an amazing deal and help out the the economy.

My wife can debate like the best high priced lawyers. She is very thrifty and ALWAYS looking for a sale. She will drive for ten miles to get 10 cents off on a carton of milk.

But when it came to buying a car from one of the Big 3 auto makers all she could do was look at me and say, ” Nah!”

This country is in more trouble than I thought.

Please forgive me for doing only a brief review right now because I saw the midninght show, came straight to work at 2a.m. and I am exhausted. I’d ask you to forgive my spelling too but I do that every day.

The new Star Trek is IMHO the best Star Trek film by far. That’s right. I said it.

Better than Kaaaaaaaahn!

Better than the whales and “double dumb ass to you!”.

Better than when Kirk fought the Doc Brown Klingon.

I will go so far as to say the first hour of the movie is PERFECT. The film loses some steam when Leonard Nimoy shows up and takes a little while to regain it’s footing but I highly recommend it. The characters, acting, action, and special effects are spectacular. It’s funny and hip too.

Even if you know nothing about Star Trek you will enjoy this. 3 and a half stars out of four.

I’ll have more for you later after I get some sleep.

Yeah, I have a few more aches and pains then when I was younger. I am 47, but I run and horse around with my kids, exercise, play Xbox 360 and even participate in the occasional softball game. (I used to enjoy Sunday softball leagues but as I got older a 14 to 20 game season became more like a job getting up for a doubleheader on Sunday mornings.)

The one time I do feel A LITTLE old is when I stay up all night.

That’s what I will be doing when I see the new Star Trek movie tonight at midnight. After reviewing the movie in my little notebook, I will be coming straight to work so I can do a review on the morning show.

BTW-although the film does not open officially until tommorow there are numerous local shows TONIGHT at 7, 7:30, 8, 10 and 10:30. But with my wife working late in Manhatten every night it would be impossible for me to attend those shows.

I have done these all nighters for the morning show before. I did it for the last three Star Wars movies, Spiderman 2 and a few others but as I said- It’s hard! The next morning I feel loopy and it literally takes me days to recover. But radio is a demanding mistress and I will let you know what I think tommorow.

I remember there used to be a time in my life I would party in Manhatten night clubs on Friday nights after work and not leave until they flicked the lights on and off. I would than take a smelly ride home on the LIRR with the late night crowd. On Saturday it was time to wake up early, go to the beach or boating and than play softball on Sunday morning.

Well…..as that great philosopher Homer Simpson once said when faced with a tough situation, “Eh…what are you gonna do?”

If you can’t tune in to my live review on Friday I will post it on this blog tommorow too.